Is there anything on Earth more useless and annoying than a Blackberry device?

I threw mine into a drawer after two months of sky-high bills, double the amount of spam, and my pocket calling people so they could listen to my muffled conversations with others. Nothing, but nothing annoys me more than some gel-haired broker with pointy shoes and sunglasses that were stolen off the face of U2’s Bono standing in front of me, as I’m responding to a question, scrolling through his little Blackberry device going, “Yuh . . . yuh . . . yuh . . . yuh.” I know he’s not hearing a word I’m saying.

Or have you been in a meeting where somebody is rudely typing away on their Blackberry distracting the speaker and others?

Blackberry devices are for people who don’t know how to manage their time properly. If you need to send email from the dinner table, you need a course in time management, not a Blackberry. Send your email when you’re sitting at your desk. Urgent matters . . . well . . . hello! That’s what the telephone was invented for.

I’ve yet to hear a strong argument in support of these pesky flash-in-the-pans that will thankfully go the way of the Polaroid Camera and the Pocket Fisherman. Fancy little doodads that ultimately end up referred to as gizmos, they are a perfect example of the infatuation human beings manifest for shiny new toys that soon wanes with familiarity.

Yet investors, all too eager to swallow the baloney regularly served up by mainstream financial press, have driven the value of RIM shares into the stratosphere. How long can it last?

I mean, if you don’t see the “best before” date blinking from these fad gadgets, you might need glasses.

Oh, sure, RIM’s sales of Blackberry devices arguably justify the huge valuation now, but I’m wondering how long it will be until Apple or Sony or Microsoft topples the clunky Blackberry from its exalted heights.

And I know I’m in a minority. I’ve heard overzealous junior executives going on about the impossibility of their lives before Blackberry.

Gold, on the other hand, remains inexpensive relative to the Blackberry. Its market is small and its trading volume light. Investment banks don’t make very much dough from you when you buy gold. But they sure make a lot when they load your portfolio with high flying junk.

As my father always said, a thing is worth what somebody is willing to pay for it.

I paid $359 for my Blackberry experiment, and over $2,000 in usage fees while I was traveling around in search of undervalued companies. Obviously, Blackberry is going to have to become something pretty spectacular before I’ll even read the brochure.

Gold, on the other hand, is something I’m growing to appreciate more and more as I learn about it. It seems to me that its natural place in the universe is to be the ultimate representation of wealth and power. Being in the presence of a 400 ounce bar of gold is to understand what the term “lasting value” can truly mean.

Today, gold is again threatening to break the $700 mark, and the inability of central banks to stem demand with their persistent selling underscores that the world is slowly becoming cognizant of the safety and relative stability of gold.

The liquidity problems of the world have caused the contraction of two of the biggest capital consuming businesses out there--private buyouts and credit derivatives. In the coming months, the sub-prime mortgage fiasco will have vaporized a good deal of capital as the banks holding the paper re-price the its value based on a harder look at the collateral behind it. They will be seeking to reestablish their credibility to resurrect the credit business.

But the availability of U.S. dollars will continue to grow as a result of the counterfeiting carried on by the world’s largest criminal organization, the U.S. government. The demand for these proceeds of crime will continue to fall on global currency markets, which means the dollar’s slide in value relative to gold will increase dramatically.

Compared to the Canadian dollar, I predict a relative price of somewhere around $0.50 before the trend is reversed. It is my belief that the reckless policies of Bush will be countered with the election of a more fiscally realistic administration as the public howls over a continuing dive in the standard of living and major increases in the number of families living in poverty.

If the neoconservative hawks prevail in future administrations, this will likely trigger false accusations against some other wealthy yet politically unsatisfactory country, resulting in warfare, which solves the twin problems of unemployment and diminishing assets.

While all of this is underway, real-estate markets and manufacturing will suffer contractions, and precious metals will slowly become popular as the only safe bet and truly blue chip investment.

The 30-day HUI index bottomed on August 16 coincident with the onset of credit problems, and is now heading upward in line with the price of gold. The AMEX Gold BUGS (Basket of Unhedged Gold Stocks) Index represents a portfolio of major gold mining companies. The Index is designed to give investors significant exposure to near-term movements in gold prices--by including companies that do not hedge their gold production beyond 1-1/2 years.

Other strong indications of gold’s continued ascent into fresh powder are:

• Aug 13: Gold hedging in Q2 2007 dropped 15% compared to the previousquarter, by 5.4 Moz to 31.2 Moz, according to data compiled by Virtual Metals, Halliburton Mineral Services and Mitsui.
• South Korea has announced it would establish a gold exchange by 2010.
• The Swiss National Bank (SNB) sold some 35 t of gold in July; its gold holdings fell by CHF917 m (to CHF31.81 bn) that month. 35 t is more than double the 13.9 t it sold in June. The SNB proposes selling up to 250 t by September 2009, shifting more reserves into fixed-income instruments. If gold rises in the face of what should be strong downward pressure, where will it go when the central banks run out of it?

The first negative news was the OECD trimming 2007 growth forecasts for the US and EU. It now believes the US will grow at 1.9%, compared to the previous estimate of 2.1%. For the EU, the OECD cut its forecast from 2.7% to 2.6%. This was followed by the ECB announcement that it was ready to push more liquidity into the markets today if volatility in the money market persists.

This merely highlights the liquidity squeeze ruling financial markets at the moment.

More bad news came in the form of pending home sales in the US, which declined 12.2% in July. Combined with data last month showing housing stock on the increase, this does not bode well for house prices--not to mention the embattled US consumer. Lastly, the US Fed beige book showed that mortgage conditions in most of the US are tighter, indicating that house sales are unlikely to pick up soon.

AND . . .  according to the Mortgage Bankers Association, a seasonally adjusted 0.65% of loans on one- to four-unit residential properties entered the foreclosure process during the period, the highest level in the survey’s 55-year history. In the first quarter, when the previous record was set, 0.58% of loans entered the process; a year ago, 0.43% entered the process.

The delinquency survey covers more than 44 million mortgages, meaning more than 286,000 loans entered the foreclosure process during the quarter.

Now what would you rather have: a Blackberry device or an ounce of gold?

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